amazngj's Diaryland Diary
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His name is Madison
An employee came in the building the other afternoon and said that she wanted my penguin. Of course, I promptly fired her for creating a hostile work environment, I mean, she even said it in front of customers!
Then another employee said I had a cool penguin, and I was really wondering what kind of information was getting out there about me. Hopefully more Aptenodytes fosteri than Fairy Eudyptula minor, but concerning none the less. Finally when a group of employees came in from a collective break and said that they thought my penguin was cute, I began hypothesizing about collective delusions. Maybe our place of business had not only finally driven everyone insane, but everyone reaching the same psychosis at the same time, is impressive for a place of business.
I ventured outside and the troop of Daniel McNaughten's followed as I rounded the corner to my car, I slowly smiled and then laughed outloud as I realized that there, in the passenger seat of my Suzuki Sidekick, strapped in, no less, was a 27 inch stuffed Emperor Penguin. I later learned that he made the journey from Sea World in San Diego.
And to that, I paused, dramatically, of course, and smiled as I slowly turned to the questioning masses of doubting Thomas's and stated simply,
"To avoid car accidents"
To a few who persisted in acquiring greater information on the topic, I explained, both patiently and sympatheically, that I have, in the past, been involved in vehicular incidents involving damage to material items. I explained that contrary to prior misconceptions on my part, these accidents were the fault of neither the day of week, number of the month, or any passengers, and it was most obviously and certainly not the fault of anyone driving or operating any of the afformentioned machinery. These unfortunate incidents occured, because, until now, I didn't have a penguin.
My love and thanks to Hollie and Linda and any potential private partners. You shall forever be known as the "Penguin Providers"
For a great story about good penguin loving, click here
For the scientifically curious, Aptenodytes fosteri is commonly known as the "Emperor Penguin" and Fairy Eudyptula minor is nicknamed the "Little, Little Blue Penguin"
01:00 - 01 October 2003
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